cust: dan alvarez
(troubleshoot)
tech:...
cust:...
after several minutes of doing chkdsk /r
tech: are you done sir?
cust: nope..
.
.
tech:are you done?
cust: nope
.
.
tech:are you done?
cust:why do you keep on asking if i'm DAN....I'M DAVID, DAN IS MY DAD!!!
from: hack_you
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This one I just heard from a friend...
CX: I'm just wondering what these shiny circle thingies are...
TECH: Sir, those are compact discs and you'll need them to install a few programs in your computer. I'll be guiding you through the installation process, now I need you to place that on the CD drive....
CX: I don't know where it is...
(TECH explains how to locate the drive)
.... yes, that's the one which appears like a platform with a hole in the middle.
CX: oh... you mean the mug holder?
Isa pa.... (same friend dealing with a Chinese customer)
TECH: I need you to right click on My Computer icon...
CX: yes, I click....
TECH: then you'll have to select Properties
CX: no, I don't see properties...
TECH: sir, you should have seen the menu pop out and you'd find properties at the bottom part of the box
CX: no, no menu. i click on icon, yes?
TECH: No sir, I need you to right click on the icon...
CX: yes, I click, right? I click. program opens, no properties.
from: oneshot
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directory assistance me eh
me: im sorry ma'am but im not pulling up a listing for that exact match in my database. not even for the address
caller : can u give me credit for this call?
me: (checking service provider id) im sorry ma'am but youre using a payphone. i cant give u credit for this call
caller: i paid a goddamn dollar and fifty for this call! i want it back!
me : well i cant make the coin go out of the phone ma'am
caller : i want my dollar and fifty!!!!
me: (exasperated) please hold for the coin.
from: tamizzz
--------------------
CSR: So, you want to reset your password? Is this correct?
Cust: Yes.
CSR: Would you like to set your own password or would you like me to give you a generic password.
Cust: Uhmm.. just give me a generic one.
CSR: Alright. I have reset your password. Your new password will be... let me spell it out for you. That's K as in Kilo ... A as in apple....M as in mama.... O as in October..... T as in tango.... and E as in Echo
Cust: "Kamowt?" (kamowt in American accent-- kamote in Pinoy). That's a cool password. I'll never forget this. All right. Everything is working.
from: driven
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rep: can you spell out your name, please?
CX: yes, my name is Cathy, that's C as in Kite --
(in the background, her boyfriend yells: "C as in Kite? What the h**l was that about?")
CX: oh, i'm sorry, that's C as in Cake....
from: issey27f
--------------------
common na tlaga minsan key spelling errors, tuliro na agents pag ganyan. hehehe. sa agent ko:
tech: "ok sir, do u have a pen and a pencil ready?"
ako, narinig ko kc ktapat ko station: "what?!"
tech: "oh, im sorry sir, do u have a pen and a ballpen ready?"
mejo matagal namin sha pinagtawanan. hehe
from: camron
------------------
me: mam please look at the back of your modem and check if you have the ethernet cord conencted.
cus (ms fordham): the what? (with alabama accent)
me: yung yellow cord
from: blue_shades
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cus: i have problems connecting.
agent: ok let me help you. Please click on the start button and run!
cus: huh? why do I have to run!
grrrrr!!!!!
from: urlover
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mine naman, medyo shunga-shunga yung caller
cust: i have a problem with my internet, i cant connect
me: what is your connection, is it a dial-up or a dsl
cust: its a dial-up
me: when did you tried connecting
cust:just now while talking to a friend
me:how many phons do you have
cust:just this one
me:have you tried connecting while not using your phone
cust: do i need to do that
me: yes sir because your connection is dial-up (leche tangengot!)
from: junjon
----------------------
i got this one from a friend
customer: so do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?
csr: sir the package has been deliverd and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP schedule.
ineng, parang baligtad ata... hehe
from: anne_373
---------------------
here are some good ones... pang-outbound nga lang:
call center agent: Good morning. This is [name] with [company]. May I please speak with Mr. Mike Jones?
operator of called company: Oh, he's deceased.
call center agent: Should I just call back for him then?
agent: i was hoping you can take this survey with me. would you have the time to do that sir?
contact: how long is this going to take?
agent: mga three minutes.
agent: hi. this is [name] with [company]. I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please.
contact: he's not in. would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
agent: sure, sige.
from: dindi
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