cust: yeah, im having problems with my PC... blah blah blah...
me: ok lets fix up your issue here... Kindly do this and "press any key" to boot from CD.
cust: ahh.. i missed it... where's the "press any key" in my keyboard?!
from: ds30
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This is form my officemate..
tech: thank yo ufor callin'.... (cust butts in irrately)
Cust: Why my keyboard is not arrange in alphabetical order?!
What the...?!
from: ds30
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My officemate who was already half asleep....
"Hello, this is (name) and I'm calling on behalf of the Philippines."
Sabi pa ng tinawagan: "You're calling me in behalf of WHAT!?"
Ikaw ba naman tawagan ng isang bansa diba? Hehehe!
from: agentmori
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This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have
been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the "WordPerfect Helpline" which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations).
"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when
it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you
see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power...a power failure?... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and
manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then
take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."
from: boy_tumador
--------------------
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She couldnot print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges.I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting,I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when sheasked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?"
from: boy_tumador
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tech: sir can we make sure all the windows are closed
cust: ok, can i put the phone down?
tech: sure sir..
cust: ok i've closed all the windows in my house... what's next?
from: bluegal_27
----------------------
CUST: the item code is r4m888
REP : Im sorry what's that again?
CUST: R4M888
REP : uhmm.. uhmmm is it M... M as in eMbrella..?!
from: candy_kulet
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the customer was irate and ranting and she's not listening perhaps...
csr: "MA'M, I AM YOUR FRIEND, I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY!"
tumahimik ung floor and then nagclap ng hands lahat!
from: gracey_12
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ech: Thank you for calling America Online, my name is Rick, how can I help you.
Customer: My screen is very fuzzy and out out focus. It was fine yesterday, but a download from your company caused this.
Tech: Well lets check a few things on your computer.
Customers Wife in the Distance: Dam it Jim, you've got my reading glasses again. Use your own.
Customer: Opps, sorry my fault, bye.
from: natural joe
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